I am Leslee, a Metamorphosis Coach, based in Texas. I help women all over the world learn to use their grief as a tool for transformation.
Every week I share a heart-inspired video, created with the intention to help you tap into what’s truly possible for you. I also offer personal guidance in the form of individual phone calls, where you get to ask me questions, feel heard and get advice.
And all along, deep down, I knew life didn’t have to be this way. I knew there was more waiting for me. But I ignored the inner knowing that something was wrong. I had somehow convinced myself to stay, that I could fix things, and that somehow it was my fault.
It was the day that changed my life forever. I was with a man, that I thought I could trust. One minute I was laughing and smiling, and the next I was being punched in the chest, yelled at, his hand gripped around my neck and falling over his couch. And that was just the beginning. Immediately after getting up from the couch, I was thrown against a wall and hitting my head so hard to make his pictures on the wall fall to the ground. I tried getting away and in the blink of an eye, he had come up behind me, put me in a chokehold and he threw us down on his concrete porch. He was screaming at me to tell him certain things and I remember trying my hardest to get the words out. I tried taking a deep breath through my nose, tried again by opening my mouth, and…..nothing. I was kicking with all the energy I had left, but it wasn’t enough. My kicking had slowed down, my punches to his arms had stopped and all I could see were the flames and ash flickering from the fire up into the trees above me, before my eyes started to roll back and my last thought was that I was never going to see my little girl or family again.
In that moment, I changed. My life changed. Everything I was before that moment was shattered. I would look in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. I avoided mirrors for a very long time. I didn’t know who I was anymore. My taste in music changed, foods tasted different, it was emotional to take a shower because I didn’t want my body touched, I had nightmares every night for over a month, I got startled easily and would shudder in fear if someone would walk up behind me. It took about 8 weeks for my bruises to finally disappear, the bump on my head to no longer be noticeable and the all body aches finally dissipated. That was when I learned a very hard lesson. That people around me thought I was “better” or “healed” because my physical injuries were “gone”. Strangulation is an ultimate form of power and control, and he had all the power and control over my next breath that night, causing devastating psychological effects. I started therapy within a week of the assault. I was in constant communication with my victim counselor, I was doing research on all my rights and how the criminal system worked. I was determined to take back any control that I could. I showed up to every pre trial setting, I would go by myself and sometimes a victim counselor would sit with me and sometimes not, I introduced myself to the prosecutor and always made my presence known. I wanted justice, I wanted to be seen and for them to be able to put a face to the assault. I was not going to be just some case number or some file sitting on a desk. I learned that I was going to have good days, not so good days, draining days, and just really bad and emotional days. But I also learned, that it is okay to not always be okay. The best way, for me, to describe what this process has been like, is like a snake shedding its skin.
I have learned that even though you might be surrounded by negative and toxic people, doesn’t make you negative and toxic. I don’t need a man to be happy or for my life to be complete. I am not ashamed that I am independent, goal oriented and have big dreams for this life of mine. And I am someone who has learned all of this by LIVING it. Not from a text book or attending a class once a week.
I have learned to not let “that” life tear me down and turn me into a negative person. I am a 34 year old HAPPILY single mom and I’m becoming a better version of myself on a daily basis. I workout every day, I eat pretty healthy but know how to indulge. I have more confidence now than I ever did before. I don’t feel abnormal for being single and being happy about it. I have built my own house, know my way around Lowe’s and some power tools. My life may not be perfect, but it is MY life and not controlled by everyone else’s opinion.
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